Did Paul really despair of his own life?

Yes. In 2 Corinthians 1:8 Paul uses the Greek word exaporeomai — 'completely without a way through' — to describe despair of being alive. He draws a deliberate razor-thin distinction between aporeomai (perplexed) and exaporeomai (utterly despairing), and says he crossed into the second.

Yes — Paul really did despair of his own life, and he said so with a word that leaves no room for softening. Writing to the Corinthians about what had happened to him in the province of Asia, he says:

"We were burdened beyond measure, beyond strength, so that we despaired even of life itself." — 2 Corinthians 1:8

The Greek word for "despaired" is exaporeomai (ἐξαπορέομαι, G1820), and its construction is precise. Take the word aporeo — "to be at a loss, to have no way through" (from a-, "without," and poros, "passage"). Then add the intensifying prefix ex-. The result: completely without a way through. No exit in sight. Paul crossed a threshold that word describes, and he knows it, because four chapters later he draws the exact contrast: "we are perplexed (aporeomai) but not in despair (exaporeomai)" (2 Cor 4:8). The difference between those two words — with the prefix and without it — is the difference between feeling lost and feeling like there is no way back.

This word appears exactly twice in the entire New Testament, both times in 2 Corinthians, both times from Paul. No other biblical writer uses it.

What pulled him back wasn't a technique or a principle — it was a theological anchor and a person. The anchor: "so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead" (2 Cor 1:9). Paul's resolution to despair is resurrection. And the person: "God comforted us by the arrival of Titus" (2 Cor 7:6). The word Paul uses for God there is ho parakalon tous tapeinous — "the one who comforts the downcast." That's a participial title, not an event. It describes who God permanently is. God comforted Paul by sending a friend who showed up.

Read the full study on the Bible and despair